Flight
by slashymoira
Summary: PostOOTP. Summer before Harry's sixth year, Remus reflects about the past, present and future, and finds understanding with the help of a hippogriff.


DISCLAIMER: J.K.R owns Harry Potter and co. The characters found in the story are the rightful intellectual property of JK Rowling. The story line belongs to the author(me!) 

A/N:  A sort of sequel to Passions, Wishes, Desires.  No slash per se but it is implied.  This happens during the summer before Harry's sixth year.  =p   

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Flight

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There really was no formal ceremony or burial rites for Sirius death.  Everyone in the Order seemed to have a sort of silent mutual agreement of the demise of the one known as a murderer to the wizarding public, and a friend to a small group of people.  Either that or no one wanted to talk about it.  There were too many questions and uncertainties over his death.  And by not really recognizing and claiming he was gone, this somehow sparked a small hope within their minds that maybe, just _maybe_, he was not really gone only missing.  So they all went on with their lives and daily routines as if nothing had happened.  There was no point in delaying anything of their plans and strategies because of it, if they were to continue on as the group in charge of thwarting Voldemort's evil schemes.  But no one could ignore the strange and ominous atmosphere that was currently surrounding number twelve Grimmauld place.  No one can deny that, it seemed as if reality wanted to sink in and shake all of them from their seemingly nonchalant attitude and face what _is_ not what _must_.

It could be said that the Order member who was suffering the most was Remus Lupin.

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After the stint in the Ministry of Magic, and what happened to Sirius, there was an immediate concern of who will keep to the headquarters.  It was agreed upon that Remus would be granted the responsibility of keeping to the house, and guarding it against uninvited guests.  Mainly because he was the closest to Sirius.  

It was just after another Order meeting, everyone had left an hour ago. It was almost midnight, and Remus was cleaning up the now disorganized 'meeting room'.  Scattered sheaves of parchments littered the table; chairs were thrown back and half-filled/empty cups of tea and coffee were found resting on the table.  After putting back everything in their right places, he was all ready to get to bed and have a nice and dreamless sleep. 

Unfortunately for him, that was not what happened.

Arriving at his room, which was previously where Sirius stayed, he laid himself on the bed and was about to close his eyes when he heard someone, or rather something from upstairs.  

Buckbeak.

He almost forgot about him.  He supposed Kreacher forgot yet again to feed him for tonight, which would be the reason for the noise upstairs.  With a sigh, he got himself up from the bed and out of his room.  Along the way, he couldn't help but think of how things became the way they were now.  He couldn't help but think how lonely it all seemed that he was the only Marauder left that wasn't either dead, gone or a traitor.  It was naïve for him to think that it would always be Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail and Prongs.  But they were all children then, not yet affected by the harsh realities that Voldemort and his followers and the countless dark wizards who brought terror and suffering in the wizarding world. 

"Hey there Buckbeak. " Remus greeted. He made sure to keep a steady eye on the hippogriff and then bowed slowly. After a few seconds, the hippogriff, sensing no hostility from him, bowed back in return.

"Why all this noise huh? You're not hungry are you? Hmmm…I brought some very interesting insects for you. " 

Remus extended his hand with the various insects for Buckbeak to eat. He ate them gratefully while Remus petted his feathers.  

"You're a wonderful creature you know that? Now what are we going to do with you huh? " Remus said out loud, wondering himself what would become of Buckbeak now Sirius is gone, true he was a wanted hippogriff but he sure couldn't stay locked indoors for so long.  Hipogriffs deserve to be among forests and greeneries where they could enjoy their freedom.  It broke Remus' heart to think that Buckbeak would have to stay here indefinitely.  _Unless…._     

But there were so many things still bothering him.  So many problems that he had.  But what hurt him most was something that was burdening him for more than ten years now to the point that the pain itself became numb. 

He missed James.  And he could not do anything anymore about it.  Stupid, how can I be so stupid? I owed him so much…

As he petted Buckbeak absentmindedly, he remembered what Sirius told him in his house two years ago. It was just after the Triwizard Tournament, when Voldemort came back and Sirius was tasked to gather the 'old' crowd.  They hadn't seen each other for sometime, not since he taught Defense Against the Dark Arts in Hogwarts because Sirius always had to be moving constantly.

" You shouldn't be sorry.  You shouldn't have to carry this burden.  It's not yours to suffer yourself needlessly with. "

_"I just feel guilty.  After all these years, I could still feel the regret of not being able to protect James and Lily.  I mean, as one of their friends I know I had the job of making sure they'd be safe…but because of my own weaknesses I couldn't save them…"_

" Stop it Moony.  Do you think you're the only one who thinks that way? Hell, I'm supposed to feel much worse than you.  But I won't let that happen again.  I won't let the same thing happen again to Harry.  God help me, I'd rather die than let those bastard get him. "

_"I wish it were that easy.  I wish I could have the same kind of thinking as you.   I also wish I could've been there for both of them."_

_"Think of the good times, the little things."_

_"What?"_

_"We all know its no use living in the what ifs.  It's hard to think of the past because there are so many things that we would've liked to change if we knew the results of our past actions.  We may not have been able to be there for James and Lily at that pivotal moment.  But I'm sure you and I were there for them in other occasions. "     _

"James…" 

He didn't know he said that aloud, but somehow Sirius eyes brightened with understanding.

_"What is important now is the present.  And we also have our memories to help us survive.  You and James shared something special before…" Sirius started to say but then stopped and shook his head, as if he realized he said too much._

_"How did you…?" _

_"That's not important.  The point is, don't you ever think you failed them.  What we do now is what matters…"_

_What we do now is what matters…._

He finally understood what Sirius meant by that.  He knew that he certainly missed his old friends—James, Sirius, and Lily…especially James.  He would miss them until he hopefully sees them again in the afterlife. And it pained him to think that he should have to wait so long before that day comes.  But he'll be damned if his emotions would prevent him from doing what he should be doing, in the _present_.  __

He glanced at the hippogriff, who was now looking at him curiously.  He gave Buckbeak a smile and then told him, "How would you like to go for a ride huh?" 

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It was dawn when Remus, under a disillusionment charm, landed with Buckbeak in the countryside.  He hadn't had any sleep yet strangely enough he wasn't tired.  He knew what he had to do. It was the first step anyway.  He removed the makeshift seat, padding, and harness from the hippogriff.  With nothing more attached to him, Buckbeak gave an appreciative squawk.    

Giving the hippogriff one final stroke he told him, "Hey now Buckbeak. I'm going to miss you.  But I think Sirius would have wanted this.  You've been cooped up too long in that house. Go and fly off from here! "       

And with those final parting words, Buckbeak gave one more squawk and took flight into the horizon facing the sunrise.

"You're free now to live your own life, as you chose." He said to the fading hippogriff.

Remus watched him until he was but a mere dot in the salmon tainted sky.  Afterwards, he himself disapparated.  After all, he had his own life to live, dark wizards to fight, and protect a certain boy who lived.    

_-fin_


End file.
